Cognitive Distortions
Our thoughts and language provide indicators to our underlying beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world, which in turn impacts how we experience our world. When we have inaccurate thoughts that often seem rational we convince ourselves that the thought or feeling is true. Over time distorted thinking becomes habitual, and if we’re habitually thinking negatively that is preventing us from enjoying life, being happy, having healthy relationships, and achieving our goals.
Through identifying and being mindful of our thoughts and language we’re able to consciously flip the unhealthy thoughts and language to be purposefully constructive in order to improve our quality of life. If we think better, we’ll feel better.
Have you noticed yourself thinking or verbalizing the following cognitive distortions?
Polarized Thinking: Seeing things as this or that, black and white, right or wrong, or always or never. Viewing things from extreme measures doesn’t leave room to notice there is a middle ground or gray area. It is in the in-between where we find understanding, possibilities, and can reach favorable results.
Overgeneralization: Defining a single occurrence as an overall pattern. To draw faulty conclusions and predictions due to one unfavorable incident so we hold ourselves back by avoiding certain situations in hopes of preventing a reoccurrence of that event. If we don’t limit ourselves to having assumptions due to that isolated event believing that’s what we’ll experience again, we open ourselves up to opportunities to have new alternative experiences.
Magnification or Minimization: Dramatically seeing things as more important or less important than they actually are. The outlook of the situation will determine the reaction creating the outcome.
Emotional Reasoning: Taking our emotions as fact. When we feel something therefore it must be true and we find reasons to justify it. If we acknowledge our feelings may not be indicative of reality we’ll be able to see past our current emotional state and see other options.
Should Have, Could Have, and Would Have Statements: Placing wishful expectations for ourselves that are unrealistic and hard to meet and then we beat ourselves up and feel guilty because we didn’t reach expectations. We cannot change the past, yet we can learn from the experience and moving forward make conscious decisions that offer preferable results.
Overlooking Empowerment: Using negative words such as can’t do that or don’t have this. If we keep saying what we don’t have or can’t do then that’s how it will continue to be. Recognize what you do have and explore what you are capable of to change your circumstances.
Jumping to Negative Conclusions and Making Negative Assumptions: Having predictions and conclusions without any proof. These assumptions are typically based on our own biases instead of reality. Instead of fortune-telling, we can imagine the possibility of positive scenarios and/or have peace of mind in appreciating that we don’t know what’s going to happen until it happens.
Mental Filter: Focusing completely on the negative details of our lives and situations and obsessing over it, without being able to see the other sides, the positives. When we don’t constrain our attention to only negative aspects, and instead balance our thoughts to acknowledge varying elements in ourselves and situations that are also positive, we’re able to elevate our mood as we permit ourselves to feel better about ourselves and situations.
Disregarding the Positive: We recognize the positives but reject them. Allowing ourselves to recognize and accept the good in situations, ourselves, or people enables us to raise our energy to feel enjoyment and be happy.
Labeling: Assigning a judgment or label based on a single event or instance. When we overgeneralize a single trait as the main definition of ourselves or others and filter out any other information that doesn’t fit under the umbrella of that label, we’re not open to noticing who we or who others are. In order to release hurtful emotions tied to inaccurately judging ourselves and others, we can notice the spectrum in our traits and appreciate the complexities in who we are. Finding value in ourselves empowers us to feel better about ourselves and finding value in others allows us to have positive interactions with them.
Personalization: This distortion involves us taking things personally and blaming ourselves for something in an illogical way. When we believe someone is acting a certain way because of us or we assume that we are the cause of the moods or behaviors of those around us when it has nothing to do with us. When we realize things aren’t always about us, we release the weight of having guilt and shame from things outside of our control.
Pointing blame: Not taking responsibility for our actions. This fallacy leads to not just blaming others for what goes wrong, but also blaming others for our emotions, thoughts, and behavior without realizing that we can choose our emotions and behaviors. If we are blaming others while denying our role in a situation, then we are not holding ourselves accountable when applicable.
Fallacy of Fairness: Believing life is fair and when unfairness occurs it leads to anger, resentment, and hopelessness. Take the pressure off you from trusting things will always go your way and when they don’t that doesn’t mean you’re bad and you deserve it.
Always Being Right: This is the belief that our thoughts and actions are right or correct and being wrong is unacceptable, so we’ll do whatever we must to prove that we’re right, even when we’re wrong. Many times we’re unable to admit mistakes, be fair, or be open to other views or beliefs. If we’re functioning under the mistaken belief that we’re always right and anyone who disagrees is wrong, we fail to see other possibilities. Yet, if we do look for evidence to support our beliefs it’s important to be mindful of the resources and not just be looking to reinforce our perspective, but actually, find unbiased proof. When we let go of needing to constantly be right we can be relieved from that stress and also have enjoyable relationships.
References:
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapies and emotional disorders. New York, NY, US: New American Library.
Burns, D. D. (2012). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American Library.